Me & Bree Bree born 28 January 2005

Isaac Ng Hoi Kit 吴凯杰 @ 30mths old

26mths old

23mths old

15mths old

12mths old

11mths old

9mths old

7mths old

5mths old

2mths old

1mth old Born 26 July 2008
Birth weight/ height: 2.6kg/ 45cm
3mths: 5.8kg/ 56cm
4mths: 6.2kg/ 62cm
5mths: 6.3kg
6mths: 6.6kg / 63cm
7mths: 7.3kg / 64cm
9mths: 7.6kg / 65cm
10mths: 7.9kg / 65cm
11mths: 8.2kg / 67cm
12mths: 8.2kg / 69cm
15mths: 9.2kg / 72cm
16mths: 9.6kg
17mths: 9.9kg
18mths: 10kg / 78cm
23mths: 10.3kg / 80cm
25mths: 10.3kg / 82cm
31mths: 11.8kg / 87cm
33mths: 11.7kg / 89cm
36mths: 12kg / 90cm
42mths: 13kg

Linus Ng Hoi Jun 吴凯俊 @ 10mths old
 5mths old

3mths old

2wks old
Born 31 October 2010
Birth weight/ height: 2.9kg/ 48cm
1mth: 4.4kg/ 52cm
3mths: 5.9kg / 59cm
4mths: 6.3kg
6mths: 7.2kg / 65cm
10mths: 8kg / 71cm
14mths: 8.5kg
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 21 January 2012, Saturday, 8:34am
I’ve been holding back all the do-not-want-to-enjoy-CNYs feelings so that I do not want to spoil everyone else’s mood.

This morning I had to dress Isaac in ethnic clothes for him to celebrate CNY with his friends in school. I had to put in quite a lot of thought and effort in getting his outfit because I just couldn’t bring myself to buying those typical red, yellow, orange, blue Chinese pants suit that most people buy for their kids during the new year. I guess I’m very conflicted within me that I hate CNY, but didn’t want my kids to hate it like I did so I try to let them enjoy as much as possible as long as I didn’t have to fake it too openly. I tell everybody I don’t celebrate it, I don’t like it. Don’t expect me to go visiting during CNY cause I’ll just bring negativity everywhere with me.
We tried to not even buy any mandarin oranges. But we did eventually tonight because Isaac asked me why we didn’t. But still, we didn’t buy a box like what most people do. We bought only 9 loose ones because it was going at 3 for $1. Last year if I recall correctly, we bought only 8. Anyway, Des and I were so determined about not doing anything CNYish that since last month, I’ve been rehearsing in my mind all the excuses I might use when and if anyone should ask/force us to reunion dinner or visiting. My replies would be nothing less than disrespectful and downright obnoxious!
And I realize now how tiring this one day feels trying to fend off being hateful towards CNY. Hiding my true feelings and being paranoid over everything anyone might say to me that I have to reject nicely has made this 24hrs feel more like 3 days!
I had to be nice when Isaac kept wishing me happy Chinese new year today. He must have did it at least twenty times. I had to repeated tell myself don’t pass the hate to Isaac because he has to face a world that generally likes the celebrations. I cannot make him anxious about the festivities like how I dreaded every year growing up with people forcing CNY down my throat by expecting me to show respect for people I didn’t respect, doing stupid traditions I didn’t believe in, worrying about getting something wrong and getting scolded for it. I could try to write out why I hate CNY but it would take me a very very long time.
And the question most people ask, don’t I want to let the kids enjoy CNY? Of course I do, just like I want to let them enjoy every other celebration in the year. But it’s not easy when most of the time it should be time spent with the extended family that we have, but feels like we don’t have.
I know the problem is within me. Why do I still care about the family that makes me miserable? That’s precisely my problem. There is guilt from how far I’ve kept them at a distance, but I cannot tolerate letting them be part of my life. Now if I can just get rid of feeling guilty, then maybe I can be free, because I’ve really done a really good job at pushing everyone away. To the extend they may be mad at me. Just don’t care. Just don’t care.
Only 3 other people in my life matters. I have friends. I can still give Isaac and Linus a normal life.
Now, if I can just get through the next week without any meltdown… If today felt like 3 days (because the school celebrated 2hrs) and it’s not even CNY yet, it looks like its going to be a long long week for me.
 11 January 2012, Wednesday, 11:40pm
Must write this down before the day ends. Linus stood up and took his first few unassisted steps today – @ 1 year 2 months 1 week and 4 days old Tomorrow have to stand by the camera!
 11 January 2012, Wednesday, 10:59pm
So tired after all the loading and unloading – of the kids.
Brought Isaac to the dentist today. Just to introduce him to routine checks and cleaning. He did really well and was rewarded with a little toothpaste sample. He was so proud of himself that that was the first thing he said to his teacher when he arrived at school!
Morning trip to the dentist, loaded and unloaded Isaac 4 times. Then send him to school, loaded him twice, Linus twice. Went to the post office (only to realize I had forgotten to bring my IC) loaded and unloaded Linus twice, then back home once. Only half the day and I’ve carried them 12 times. No wonder my elbow hurts.
Up next, take Linus with me to the post office, again. Then to the supermarket, then to pick Isaac from school. So much weight lifting. Tired just thinking about it.
… Update at the end of the day … Lifted the kids in and out of the car a total of 22 times. Ouuu, elbow and neck pain.
 5 January 2012, Thursday, 11:54pm
 We took another road trip to Cameron Highlands last week. It was quite an adventure! We were hoping to enjoy the cool mountain air, but ended taking the hottest trip we’ve ever taken!
Three quarters of the way to Cameron, the aircon stopped working. It was too far to turn back, but the long weekend had only just begun!
We only made it to the hotel at around 7, cleaned up and went to have dinner at Watercress Valley – the real reason why we would go there again, other than the cool climate. I don’t know why the drive seemed longer than the one we took last year when we drove on the average faster this time. Maybe it really is more challenging with less adult and more children.
Watercress Valley is this restaurant with its own vegetable farm on the hills. Last year when we were there, we could see the beautiful view from the restaurant. This time it was pitch black cause we were late. Still the steamboat was great and the boys were surprisingly cooperative even though it was past their dinner and bedtimes. Must be how “funny” (said Isaac) it was dining in the rain despite being under shelter. The clouds drifted in so it felt like rain.
We only stayed one night because there really isn’t much to do up there. I wished the drive wasn’t so long so we could go for the steamboat more often.
The next day, we were supposed to drive to KL. I was not looking forward to the drive because halfway downhill we’d be feeling hot again. The kids don’t hide their feelings and will definitely make a lot of noise when they get uncomfortable. So we prepared ourselve for a lot of crying. Except, we didn’t factor in getting lost and frustrated! We were driving around aimlessly for I think 2hrs? I spotted some car workshops and we randomly chose 1 to get our car checked. What was truly frustrating was that even though we spoke the same languages as the people there, we couldn’t get any help with proper directions! The road signs in Malaysia have a lot of room for improvement! And the stupid map we bought, was no help at all!! Which reminds me, we should get a GPS if we ever attempt another road trip.
Just as we thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse, it suddenly poured. We had to close the windows, it was humid inside, the windows started fogging up! We were on some highway and the traffic was pretty heavy too and we could hardly make out the road signs. My mind was really quite blank cause what was the point in fretting since it would also get us nowhere – pun so not intended.

It was such a relief to have finally found KLCC, cause then we knew our hotel would be nearby. When we parked the car, I felt like I literally spilled out. I could have sworn it was cooler in the basement carpark. We all couldn’t wait to check into our room and cool ourselves down. Isaac spotted the pool when we were waiting in the lobby, and I didn’t hesitate when he said he wanted to go for a dip.
Des had arranged to meet some of his relatives who lived in KL, so despite the very tiring drive, we all still managed to have a very nice dinner at KLCC. They insisted to drive us up to Genting the next day when we told them we had changed our minds to take a day trip there given our car troubles and just maybe just find some place to go to in town.
Hmm, these relatives we hadn’t met for ages were very hospitable. It actually didn’t feel awkward at all the day and a half we spent together. Maybe they weren’t as overbearing as some other people.
Up on Genting the next day was frighteningly crowded! The queue to take a monorail ride took 4 times the amount of time for the ride itself! The place was noisy and so disorganized! I seriously doubt I would ever go there again. Isaac was rather disappointed he couldn’t go on some of the rides because he didn’t meet the minimum height requirements. I was secretly glad cause that meant we didn’t have to join the queue.
I didn’t take much photos cause I didn’t want to block the way for people passing. I kept imagining a disease outbreak and we’d all die from a stampede should someone just start a panic.
But we stayed there for most of the day. Des’ aunt had disappeared into the casinos. I wonder if that was the real reason she insisted to take us up there, so she too could have some fun while her children “babysat” us. I must say Des’ cousins are really nice and patient for waiting so long for us while we were queuing for this and that. They really made navigating the place a lot easier for us. If it weren’t for them, I think we would have left without even taking a single ride.
That night, they took us to another really nice dinner. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was, very tired from being in the crowd. I suppose if we ever met them again, this won’t be the last time we dined there The kids slept soon after we got back, I couldn’t bear to keep them up for the New Years Day countdown. From our hotel, we could see the fireworks at KLCC. More than 10mins of very impressive fireworks!
We slept in the last day before the dreaded drive back home. Supposed to have headed home after checking out at noon, but decided to wait till later in the day hoping that it would be slightly cooler. We made it back home around 10 I think. Everyone survived *phew*. Didn’t really feel like a vacation, felt like an adventure getting lost and all. Felt almost unsatisfied, so that’s why we might be planning something else come Chinese New Year! What a great way to avoid the relatives! I still hate Chinese New Years.
 4 January 2012, Wednesday, 7:16am
His first day in nursery turned out really well! I could tell he was really excited about it from the moment he woke up this morning!
 Oh yes, this morning, he went to do his #2 all by himself! We were all still asleep, but Des found him shouting for us sitting on the toilet bowl  He couldn’t clean himself  Yay!! Another step towards independence!
 We arrived early in school, waited around for everyone to arrive and complete their health checks, then the teachers gathered the children and started going up to class. In the chaos, I heard a parent comment how she wished her child could just say bye bye to her just like how Isaac said that to me! Isaac didn’t need me to go with him. I was actually feeling a little lost, wondering if I should follow them.
While standing around wondering what to do with ourselves, I asked the principal if they would know who Isaac was because all they did before going up to class was ask him his name. The principal took a while to answer me, I think she must have been wondering what kind of question was that? But she was very steady, as if she understood my concern and asked all the appropriate questions and said everything right to allay my anxiety before telling me I could go check on him if I needed to.
So I went up to the class and saw that Isaac was seated right in front of the group and doing everything the other students were doing, dancing and all! He didn’t even know I was behind. He’s become so independent all of a sudden I feel like I’m the one who couldn’t let go I don’t want to hold him back, so the feeling is good and I’m so happy everything’s panning out well so far.
When we picked him up after school, the teacher told us he was very responsive and very independent. All positive on the first day. I’m really proud of the little guy!
At dinner tonight, he told me a teacher even asked some students to look at him who was seated as instructed! He too was so proud of himself! He told me he had fun and can’t wait to go back tomorrow This looks like a really good start 
 28 December 2011, Wednesday, 8:35pm
I tried explaining to Isaac that today is his last day at this school and I wonder which parts he understand and which parts he don’t. He doesn’t seem upset at all one minute, in fact happy about his new school, the next minute he is sulking about his friends and teachers that aren’t going to be there. Then he grumbles something about Capstone got no school, kindergarten no teachers. Aiyoh, listen until I 八只耳 (“blur” in Cantonese).
I will particularly miss their Chinese teacher. 罗老师 has added a lot of life to their class since she came. Unlike the other teachers she smiles a lot and I personally feel the children respond to her cheer. Isaac has learnt most of the Mandarin he knows from her. When I ask Isaac who his favourite teacher is, he will say her name.
As for his friends, the teachers tell me during the parent teacher meeting that he is very popular with almost everyone, so I cannot figure out if he has any best friend. He names someone different every time It’s just unfortunately the school doesn’t want much parental involvement in their activities so I haven’t been able to get to know the other parents. I think that’s how it is with HDB childcare centers, the children are usually not cared for by their parents even after childcare hours anyway.
Oh well anyways, I suppose they are just next block, I’m sure we can still see them and also stay in touch with the neighborhood kids.
 25 December 2011, Sunday, 9:23am
My latest challenge is teaching Isaac what gift exchange means. I totally underestimated this whole “topic”.
As they get older, they start wanting things. And please, Isaac has many things. Almost everytime we go shopping, he gets something new. But I never considered myself to spoil him. We don’t always go shopping because we don’t like crowds, we don’t like to queue up. That’s just as well, we don’t like to deal with an impatient child that won’t let us buy anything because he is bored – except when we’re in a toy shop ie. If there is no shopping, he won’t want something new!
But this Christmas, I brought Isaac along to shop for gifts for his little friends. As it turned out, he wanted everything I bought. But they weren’t for him.
The other night, I explained to a very upset Isaac why he couldn’t open the toys. Had to stop him from crying before he could even listened to me. He ended up owning the toys cause he eventually broke all the packaging.
Another day, I had to take him shopping again. I was expecting trouble again, but because I had Des with me, I thought he could help me keep Isaac in check. I didn’t think Des would choose that night to teach Isaac that he cannot come out with a new toy everytime we go to the toy shop! So, that night, we stumbled out of the shop carrying a struggling, screaming kid. Very distressful! More explaining to do that night.
But it all seemed fine when the gift exchange actually took place. He enjoyed the little playdate and gift exchange, he was very happy.
Until today, when we had to take him with us for another round of shopping for gifts for someone else! He threw a fit again tonight. Crying that I never buy anything for him. Sigh, I buy things for you all the time Isaac! It doesn’t even have to be any occasion! In the end he got scolding for trying to open the toy box before we could put it away. It’s so heart breaking to have to scold him for something he cannot understand.
Anyway, other than teaching him to understand the concept of exchanging gifts, I also realize he needs to understand that not all the presents we receive are for him. Some are for Linus as well. Because right now, he gets to open up every present, and play with them first, even if it’s totally unattractive to him, eg a toy meant for babies.
Hmm… we can do this!
 21 December 2011, Wednesday, 9:56pm
Look who’s on duty again. He sat in his cot for 20mins making sure I didn’t leave the room. I later found him asleep in this position!
 Boys, sleep is a luxury, something you can never have too much of, so please… sleep as much as you can now! When you have kids of your own, you’ll see me sniggering and waiting for my chance to say “Haha!! 你也有今天啊!”
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